If you are one, who likes to read the end of the story, this is not it. But I guarantee you, it ends well. I have said it for months to my kids: This ends well.
I have had several people ask me, did we choose to move, because of the climate of Chris’ current work. No. Flat out, no. He would work there until its last day. He loves where he is and he especially cares about the people there.
We are going, because this vision of three pictures started something new within us. Like a match being struck in our hearts, we began to passionately feel that we are to go to College Station. Despite our love for this wonderful place, Colorado, and her wonderful people, we know in our very marrow that there is a call to go to College Station and we said Yes.
Now let me be really clear: we are not so ding-dang important that God calls us to do something and not everybody else. Fact is He truly is writing an IMPORTANT story over each of our lives. HE is INDEED inviting us to join Him in that story. But often, we either are too busy or our lives are too noisy that we miss it. Yet, He still invites…we only need to be still to hear the invitation. And the second part is sometimes, we say No, while clinging to the comfortable things in our hand.
It’s easy to do. And truly, I have within this very week said forget it. Let’s just stop going.
My own kids began to pray over me that night and tell me to keep believing. I tell you, that is something else. And it is honest. We can doubt. And those doubts can be looming and large. And we can choose.
The next day I awoke with an apology on my lips to everyone and to God. I reminded the Lord of the parable of the one He called to do something and they said no, but did it anyway. And another said yes, but did not do it. I reminded God that my no to Him will always turn around to a yes. Always. Because I love Him, I know Him and I trust Him. Sometimes I falter, though.
Back to the story. We wrestle with whose story it is with God often. Is it His or is it mine? And the answer is that it is both. But His story is greater than mine. It is written over an infinite timeline. And I get to choose to be a part of His story or to not. It is fully my choice. No one chooses it for me. No circumstance prevents His story from unfolding as it will. He is greater. And what He opens cannot be shut. He will rescue. He will delight.
The enemy is also writing a story for us. And it is packed with lies and hatred–and run by fear. We can get caught up in the rapids of it and be tossed to and fro by the waves and wind. We can then excuse our current story, saying we cannot help it. The winds and waves are too strong. We are stuck. But we have bought a lie here. When we look around us and think we are molded by the circumstances, we BECOME molded by them–for we have given them the power to have sway. But when we look up to the Living Lord Jesus Christ and cry out for Help, He will come running to us and most certainly help. I dare you to try it.
So facts of where we are right now in the story…
Tuesday, we knew that a BIG announcement was happening at Chris’ work on Wednesday. We assumed lay offs were happening. And they did. 40% of the company were laid off. Chris was not. Now we could cling to the safety of that–stay there ’til the next job came through and house was sold. And I truly wanted to self-protect here. But there were two men and two jobs fully impacted by it. And Chris wanted to tell his boss what we are doing, so that those two could stay and have the opportunity to continue working. So he told his boss our story.
That left us feeling very exposed.
His boss came back and asked him to stay until August 14th. And Chris was given the same severance package everyone else got. What favor from God. What a gift! We were hoping, but really not entitled to such a grace.
Right now, we are preparing to head to College Station for the kids to begin school there. Our home has not yet sold. The next job interview has not yet happened.
But we feel God leading us in this way–to trust Him fully. And we are.
I have had some moments of complete terror. But mostly I feel at peace that all the myriad of details left are fully in God’s hands. We are prayerful. We are listening. And we are not surging ahead on our own.
I keep reminding myself of the LORD’s heart for us–it is FOR our good and not harm. He loves us without any selfish need to control or mar us. He loves us purely. He invites us to walk with Him in the cool of the day still.
Right now, our plans are mostly pencil. We are hoping to see some pieces fall into place this next week. But we do not know how or when they will…eventually they will. And as I have been telling my kids, I am now telling myself: This ends well, Holly.