It’s the last day of what I would say was a completely wonderful and yet quite difficult year — with the Lord guiding all the way.
It has been over a week since I took off from work to be present with my family (thus I am still typing from my phone). And I will be quite honest, I have had some revelations this week. 1) I haven’t been as present with my family this past year, as I would have liked to be. 2) I have worked long hours–some weeks up to fifty hours for several consecutive weeks. 3) I am completely burned out from web design work. 4) Things need to change.
On the flip side of the coin, we have recovered from a major financial crisis. Not only that, but we have had the extra to go on a two week vacation, camping our way up to Canada and home. It was the highlight of our year as a family for all of us! We spent a week in Texas with Chris’ family. It was the best week we have ever spent going back, since we moved away 8 1/4 years ago–a week with no drama, only family time and joyful moments. Also when we got a huge water bill, we were able to pay it. We have actually had emergency funds this year. And finally, we have been able to host two young missionaries these past few months. It is a wonder!
So my work has been so beneficial and integral to all these things. But I’m ready to shift my priorities.
The year began with a push to get to June, as we had to make extra payments on our mortgage. It was hard. For a few months I worked three different types of jobs. I was worn thin. Then vacations and emergencies and having eight people under our roof rather than six…
It’s as if I was running a marathon race and kept on going after it was finished. That is what tips me off to the next part…I am a workaholic. I couldn’t stop working. Even on these days off, I get emails and begin again to slip back into what seems to now be my modus operandi–troubleshooting and working out the problems in my head. It is an addiction.
We spent this past Sunday morning having home church. We discerned together as a family and individually where we are investing our time and money–how are we establishing the work of our hands. We also covered family and individual goals. I have to say my eyes were opened to a few obvious things–I have slipped into being a passive parent for the most part. I don’t listen to my family like I should. I have become too busy to give them my best. I don’t even want to on some days, to be completely honest.
It is time to recover my life. What does that look like from this place today? It looks like seeking God and prayer. It looks like forging some new ground that used to be old ground. I want to rediscover what it is to be a stay at home mom and housewife.
Will I still work? Well, I think so, but I need to pull it way, way back. Also, I have some commitments that I will keep and honor. That is all I know for sure about work. As for home, I need to change some of my habits. I need to listen more and not put so much technology between me and my family. Perhaps I will even carry out the one dream I have carried for years and write a book. I have learned so much about God in the midst of some troubled times. Perhaps others need to know Him, too, in those ways.
Recover my life is my 2014 theme. I feel like it will be much spoken of here. For today I just wanted to speak the beginnings of it aloud.
May God bless you friends both today and as we cross the threshold into 2014. May He wake you up and show you ways to recover your lives, as well.